


Blank

by lady_ses22



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock/John - Fandom, bbc - Fandom, johnlock - Fandom
Genre: Coma, Cute, Gen, Love, Mind Palace, genius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_ses22/pseuds/lady_ses22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock finds his mind palace in ruins. But what is the cause? John of course. He deletes data and replaces it with John;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blank

Blank

My mind. Like the inside of a palace. A thousand rooms, no infinite rooms. My mind without limit. The architecture of it, exceptional. I remember the floor plan. Even with infinite rooms I knew each one like the back of my hand. I knew the secrets behind the doors. My palace glistened. It was kept well and I it’s only occupant. It was all mine because it was only in my head. 

Lately I’ve noticed it’s loss in shine. I opened a door or two. Empty. I’ve never had a room empty before, then it would vanish all together. A new door would replace it, but those were always locked. And looked the same, which was odd. None of my doors are ever the same. My palace was changing. I was changing. I didn’t like it. I would awaken in a panic. 

“Nightmare?” his concern was obvious. “I wasn’t asleep” I hissed. “Oh right you were in your mind palace thingy.” I glared at him. He obviously didn’t know the importance of this place. How important it was to me. It was my very essence. My hard drive. Everything is stored in those rooms. Years and years of study, experiments, cases and now it was falling to pieces. I couldn’t explain it and I couldn’t stop it. 

My panic was increasing slowly. I couldn’t stop it either. I got up and started pacing. “Sherlock?” It was a question that I could barely hear. I couldn’t get enough air. I leaned over and steadied myself with one hand on the couch opposite to John. He put down the newspaper he was reading and came over to me. He was saying something. He must have been because his lips were moving. God I still couldn’t get enough air. He sat me down then came into my direct field of vision. “Sherlock!” I finally heard him. It was like all the sound had come back into the room. He had my head between his hands. “Sherlock. You need to calm down, ok. Everything is fine. You are at home. You are safe.” I believed him. “How’s you’re breathing?” “Wha...?” And just like that it was like my lungs remembered how to function. “Feeling better?” He still hadn’t let go of my face. My heart fluttered. I swatted his hands away. “Yes fine. I was always fine.” “No Sherlock you were just having a panic attack.” I tried to understand what he was telling me but it all seemed foreign. “No...I?” In truth he was probably right. I was panicking because my palace was going to ruins. But just now. I should have known that. I didn’t need John to tell me what was wrong with me. I should have known already. I must have....deleted it. 

I found that the more time I spent with John the worse I got. I didn’t say anything to him of course, but even he was starting to notice. My genius abilities were faltering and quickly. I knew that I had to go back to the palace and fix it. Fix everything because this could not happen. I would not let my mind rot. I decided to take the afternoon in my bedroom. I made sure that I was comfortable because I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be there. I closed my eyes and there I was. It was worse than I had imagined. Windows shattered and bricks fallen. When I entered the tapestries were ripped, ornaments smashed and strangely every door was pounding. I walked closer to one of them. It stopped moving. Then I heard John’s voice behind it. “Let me out. Sherlock please!” 

It was a desperate cry. I opened the door without hesitation. Out of it came flooding memories of John. They were as vibrant as if it was happening to me now. I opened more doors. All John. Some were memories but others details. Minuscule details of John that filled all my rooms. Room after room. After awhile I found myself crying. John filled my rooms with laughter and emotion. Something I truly was not familiar with. I was blocking it out and that is what was destroying my palace. Now I was scared. Scared to move on with my life, scared as to what these feelings may mean. I shook my head in frustration. I deleted it all didn’t I. I did it all for a perfectly ordinary man. I laughed, a bit crazed. “YEARS OF STUDY....OF EXPIRIMENTS” I yelled. “.....all those cases. I hardly remember now. They are but an echo in this place.” I whispered in mourning. “John Watson, you made me human.....ordinary.” 

I left that place knowing what I had to do. It would be the hardest thing I would ever do. I have to confront John. Tell him everything. I also knew that my consulting detective days were over as long as John is in my life. And I wanted him to be. I didn’t want him to go away. The thing I feared most is that he will now grow bored with me because my mind is now blank.

The very reason he has followed me, lived with me, become my friend was because I was different. He was never bored with me and we always had something to do. He has changed me, but will he like this new Sherlock? I hope so.

I woke up a little drowsy. I must have fallen asleep and gone really deep. I looked to find myself in unfamiliar surroundings. Hospital. How did I end up here? “Nurse!” I called out. I started stripping off the IV. She came in briefly and left in shock. I heard her calling a doctor. The professional came in soon after. “Welcome back Mr. Holmes.” He said with a smile. “Sorry?” “You’ve been gone for quite awhile. Didn’t think you’d be coming back to us.” “Gone? I was just at home....how did I get here?” “You’re roommate found you 3 months ago, unconscious. He called an ambulance and you’ve been here ever since. He comes around 4:00 everyday, or other day to see how you are doing. You’re brother’s been concerned too. He is another frequent visitor.” 

I scratched my head in confusion. “3 months?” I couldn’t believe it. I was in my palace for 3 months. They must have thought I was in a coma. The doctor was checking my vitals. “Everything seems to be running smoothly Mr. Holmes but we are going to keep you another day for observation.” It was all surreal. I looked at the clock. Another 47 minutes and John would be here. I turned on the tele but it mostly served as background noise. I didn’t dare take my eyes off the door. I just kept staring and staring until my eyelids got heavy and I fell asleep. It was a nice nap. I subconsciously heard the door open but I didn’t stir. Even though I was in a coma for 3 months I technically never slept. I was busy. 

I heard him come in. He set himself down in the only chair next to my bed. I wanted to wake up. To see him after all this time. To tell him what he means to me, but my body wouldn’t comply. I was stuck in a half sleep state. It was only being relieved by time. The more time I spent struggling to wake up the more conscious I was becoming. I could heard him speaking to me. It was distant. I felt his hand on my arm. “I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. Sherlock please come back to me. I’m begging you. If not....I can’t let you go. I won’t.” 

I heard him sobbing and felt the gentle pressure of his head on my chest. “Stop it. Just stop this. Please.” he said meekly. I felt a tear running down my face. I woke. I gazed at him for a bit. He didn’t see me, his face buried into me. I laid a hand on his head. “I came back for you.” He shot up really fast and gasped. “You...you’re alive...back I mean...” He had so many questions, but couldn’t do anything but hug me in that moment. I welcomed it, his warmth mingling with mine. I felt safe. “I thought they would have told you.” He leaned back to see my face. He had the biggest smile. “No...no they didn’t not even at the front desk...bloody hell.” “Well I only just woke about an hour ago.” 

“You’re back. Here.” He couldn’t stop smiling and neither could I, it was contagious. “Honestly though I feel as if I just saw you. I only popped into my palace for a spell and the next thing you know I’m here.” His face fell. “You what?” I was confused. I couldn’t read his expression. “For that long you were gone? Jesus what were you doing?” “Discovering an inner truth, rebuilding...among other things.” I looked deeply into his eyes. “John I must confess something...” 

“Brother!” My head snapped over to the door. “I came as soon as I could. They told me you were awake.” “Yes obviously.” “Well it’s been 3 months...did they say what happened?” “I know how long it’s been.” The room went silent. “Maybe I should consult a doctor...” “Nothing is wrong with me Mycroft.” He laughed. “Nothing! Really? Because normal people don’t just fall asleep for 3 months!” “Honestly Mycroft. I’m not most people.” I curled my lip into a smile. He stomped away. I assume he is probably consulting a physician.

I looked again at John. “You didn’t have to be so rude. He’s just concerned for you.” “He interrupted.” I was serious once more. “John I must tell you. All this time I’ve been away....I....I came to realize that I myself was destroying the palace. It was going to ruin because I wouldn’t let myself admit....” I stopped dead cold. There was a lump in my throat and it was the truth. “Admit what?” “Nothing....never mind...I can’t...” “Can’t? Please Sherlock. Whatever you need to say just say it because I cannot wait for you again.” His eyes were pleading. “I love you.”


End file.
